The Beatles did a song called, “You’re Going To Lose That Girl.” I have worked with men who have committed domestic violence acts for the past 25 years. I have found that they continue to “push the envelope” with their partners to the point of no return, whereby they are left by their partners either through separation or divorce. Most of the time, they lose their children as a side effect. All the man wants is another chance…too late, the loss is happening and some other man will be raising your child and your partner will be moving on…without you. You lost that girl, just like the song says.
Stop pushing the envelope. Get help NOW, before you have to move into the begging and pleading stage of trying to convince your partner to stay in an unhealthy and aggressive relationship. Partners only take so much…and then they’re gone!
In my experience working with men, I found that they can make significant changes within to effectively have healthy, loving and violent free relationships. It really comes down to looking at patterns that have been playing out for many years. Patterns that have only created distress when your partner says, “I’m leaving you.” You refuse to look at these various patterns until a loss is staring you in the face, and when it’s potentially too late. NOW is the time to LOOK at these damaging PATTERNS. Most men I’ve worked with said they didn’t think it would happen to them…until it did. Next thing they noticed was a lone toothbrush in the toothbrush holder.
The Rockingham Counseling Center offers men a way out of their unhealthy relational patterns by helping them to develop insight into the dynamics of domestic violence in a non-judgmental and empathic manner. The Center is interested in partners and families evolving into non-violent relational patterns and will provide therapeutic expertise and strategies (tools you can actually use) to help men move away from resorting to power and control tactics. Of course, the first step is to admit that there is a problem. Only after being responsible and accountable can the healing begin to open for both you and your family.